The ridged leaves overlapped loosely like the rough scales
of some ancient dragon's flank, and rose in slippery slopes
of layered triangular shadows on either side of the driveway:
and in the fall, they were rust-red,
and in the spring they were the dull smudged green
of oxidizing copper.
I have them in my head still because I used to nap there,
outside on the cracked concrete, belly up, the back of my head
supported by my arms, with sunheat heavy on my face,
sunbright printing an afterimage of delicate tesselation
on my eyelids' red insides, so that I really could not help,
simply could not help
dreaming dragon dreams.
And when I woke up, if it was the right month,
if the sun was at the right place in the sky,
I rose and parted the leaves and sought out blackberries
behind the veining vines.
I ate them where I found them, even if I was still
knee-deep, my bare feet sore from stepping on pine needles:
ate until my mouth was red, and my fingers were red,
and my teeth were red, and bright with the blood of the brambles,
and for a single hungry heartbeat, I understood
the language of the birds.
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141,251 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I gave it a "like it" because your imagery was excellent: it really came across as vivid, not mental gymnastics to imagine, but still beautifully creative and surprising at the same time. My complaints are few and small. Namely, in the first stanza you mention "furry leaves" only to imply shortly after that they are like the "rough scales". I know that you are comparing the verb (overlapping), not the noun, but the contrasting qualities/adjectives of the nouns feel a little jolting. Again, this is nitpicking, not anything major. I did have to look up tesselation, but hey! It's a new word to add to my vocabulary. I really enjoyed the line that contained it, too. Very precise language, good. The last stanza had some repeated lines, but I'm glad you did so, because it reinforced the image before leaving us with a very different one; both were graceful, even though distinct.
For some curious reason, though it doesn't have anything to do with the ideas presented in your poem, I am reminded of Tennyson's "Nature is red in tooth and claw."
Nicely done, and thank you for sharing this with us.
–antimelrose
I shall review this (later), if not smack over the head with something.
Helpful, I really like this. *clicks 'like'* It creates some beautiful imagery and flows brilliantly. I couldn't help smiling as I read it. I really don't have much crit for this...
Anyway, thank you for making me smile and the beautiful poetry.
~Scarlett.